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- I read a bit of our book aloud to my sister. My daughter now says, "Do as I say or I will destroy you," ad infinitum #TwinsTalk #amwriting
- My 5yo thinks the @1448festival band smells like boys. I'm told this is because the band hasbonky 2 ladies. #5yologic #TwinsTalk
- New favorite insult: "Sorry ___, but you're a Wacky Wednesday." An unexpectedly violent reaction follows. I always laugh. #BadMom #TwinsTalk
- T: This is a sad movie. Me: Why? T: The music tells me. @SamsaraFilm #TwinsTalk
- T: Surprise Me: Oh my, what are you? T: A really creepy seamonster #Obviously #InNeedOfSupervision #TwinsTalk
- H: Let's pretend I'm not cooperating. I'll cry. Me: But I like it when you cooperate. H:
Mom, pretend means not real.
#schooled
#TwinsTalk - H: Boys can't have babies cuz their nuts block the way. Papi: Well, endocrinology speaking, that's sort of true. #TwinsTalk
- My 6yo doesn't quite grasp the concept yet: "My sister is transgender. She's half boogers, half girl. She's transgender." #TwinsTalk
- H: I don't think dying is as funny as being a banana. Or knock knock jokes. #TwinsTalk
- Hey friends, can you help me with the boom, with the tomb, with the gloomy gloomy gloom? I'm afraid I can't make it in time. #TwinsTalk #4yo
- My daughter is teaching Snarl to read her sight words. "Don't give up, you almost got it!" #TwinsTalk
- Auntie: are you guys calling Grandpa, "Grampy Stevie"? H: No, Grampa T: Yes. Because he grampped in his pants. #TwinsTalk
- T: Let's eat, I'm wongry. Auntie: What's wongry? T: Wondrously hungry. Of course. #TwinsTalk
- H: I hope you have a good sleep with Papi once you get off the potty. Me:... Uh, thanks? H: I'm welcome. Yes, you are. #TwinsTalk
- T: Mama, I like to sleep with you in your room because I'm going to greet you when you die. Me: O_O #TwinsTalk
- 2: I don't like it when you call me Butthead 1: I didn't Dad: (to 1) leave her alone *walks away* 1: *mutters* Butthead #TwinsTalk
- T: Mama, I saw a murder! H: *points* Over there! *I look* Me: You need to add "of crows" when you say that. #TwinsTalk #DangersOfScienceEd
- H, singing: Ahhhh, the poopoo butt Your nuts are in your eyeballs You peeeeee in the toilet You fell in it aaaaaand Scary! #TwinsTalk
- Me: Stop jumping on the furniture. H: I need to get away from invisible dinosaurs. T: Just put shoes on. H: It's a triceratops! #TwinsTalk
- Me: Please eat. H: Let's play guessing. Me: Hero... H: I guess you're gonna say, "Hero, please eat!" #SheWinsAgain #TwinsTalk
- T: I can tell you are okay, Mama, because you can still talk and you still look like you and you don't look like someone else. #TwinsTalk
- Dreams come true. Daughter: "Daddy, can I be your Devastator arm? Use me to destroy Slag! We're bad guys." #TwinsTalk
- 1: I want @GeorgeTakei to put me to bed! 2: But I want Optimus Prime! 1: I <3 2:="" a="" be="" class="twitter-hashtag pretty-link js-nav" data-query-source="hashtag_click" dir="ltr" everything="" gt.="" gt="" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TwinsTalk?src=hash" papi.="" ruins="" style="background: transparent; color: #1da1f2; text-decoration-line: none;">#TwinsTalk
H: Stop having a party or I'll hit you with this boomerang.
T: Let's have a party together.
#TwinsTalk #5yo
T: What does that say?
Me: "Technical Direction"
T: "Texas Right Near Erection?"
Me:...
#TwinsTalk
H:Did you know the fairy goldmother has a cape?
Me: Nope.
H:And she can fly without wings.
T:Hi grandma!
H:I'm fairy goldmother!
#TwinsTalk
Papi: This is the real @GeorgeTakei talking about his friend who just died :(
2: That's sad.
1: But he still has his friend Brad!
#TwinsTalk
*bedroom door slams open at 12:30am*
T: There's an emergency: My water bottle is lost. We need to find it.
#TwinsTalk #Drama #AfterMidnight
"If we don't go to Louisa's it will ruin our lives! You don't understand our beings!" -my kids, begging for Mexican food. #TwinsTalk #Drama
H: 
The 2nd death star just exploded.
He: Listen, the force can only be strong with princesses who eat their dinner.
#TwinsTalk
The 2nd death star just exploded.
He: Listen, the force can only be strong with princesses who eat their dinner.
#TwinsTalk
We are pretending our backyard is floating so we need to save the turtles and we're selkies. #TwinsTalk
*Children at play*
Kid: 911! 911!
@ctdawe : 911, What's your emergency?
Kid: My baby is on fire. On her face!
*Aaand, scene*
#TwinsTalk
H: I have a friend. Do you know who it is? It's space. Want to come and visit space? It's really cold there but the sun is hot. #TwinsTalk
Kid2: I don't like racing. I don't like to compete.
Me: Neither do I.
Kid2: Except when I win, that's the only time I like it.
#TwinsTalk
T:I'm making this painting for everyone on the family, except Grandpa, because he tells jokes and I don't like jokes.
#TwinsTalk
T: I love the movies!
#TwinsTalk
T: Booty, booty, booty, its healthy for your eyes
D: Did you Papi teach you that?
T: No. My I learned it from my body.
#TwinsTalk @dlindle
Booty, booty, booty, its healthy for your eyes
D: Did you Papi teach you that?
T: No. My I learned it from my body.
#TwinsTalk @dlindle
H:Shut up.
T:Shut up.
H:You shut up.
T:you shut up.
H: I'm not going to shut up. I'm going to sing forever.
T:...
#7AM
#sigh
#TwinsTalk
T:...
#7AM
#sigh
#TwinsTalk
T: Connor said I'm not a dude.
Me: What r u?
T: Doodad. Boys that's big are dads. Boys that's kids are dudes. Girls are doodads.
#TwinsTalk
My 5yo is alternating between singing show tunes and gangster rap.
#modernmusiceducation
#TwinsTalk
Kid 2: When I die, I would like to turn into a tree. Then I could have two lives. Can that really happen?
#TwinsTalk
Thanks woman who gave us your after-dinner mints, you inspired my daughter to give hers away so she could "be so nice too!" #TwinsTalk
"When I grow up I want to be:"
KidB: a paleontologist
KidA: an ice cream taster before it goes in stores
#TwinsTalk
H: My sister is trying to throw a shoe at me. Throwing is worse than hitting. I was trying to hit her with a boomerang.
#TwinsTalk
*watching tv*
H: Papi, what is this commercial trying to sell us?
P: A jeep.
H: But we aren't going to buy a jeep. That's silly.
#TwinsTalk
Me: Why don't ou think deer have antlers?
T: To help them fly!
#wellresearched
#TwinsTalk
#...
H: Pirates look the same as humans except for they have a sword.
#TwinsTalk
Humpty Dumpty, up on a wall, fell off & NoOne could fix him. All were sad. But HD fixed himself, climbed back up the wall & slept
#TwinsTalk
Grandpa: Tell T, I will joke with her when I get back.
T: OK grampa dude. We will do it grampy, Gramp in your pants!
#TwinsTalk
#respect
At park with twins: (A) makes instant friends & leads them in dramatic play. (B) does 1 unvarying activity, solo, over and over.
#TwinsTalk
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